thrown away

Why in life do some of us start out thrown away. This has been on my mind the last couple of months and is allways on my mind in AUG.
You see I started my life as being thrown away. Left with my twin sister at the DR office where I was born. For 5 days it took to find a family who would adopt Twins. You might think that I would not fell like I had been thrown away but I do. Still now at the age of 35 I was thrown away. left to start life with out the first few days with the love a baby needs. That love and that touch from it's mom. I did not have that for the first 5 days of my life. Now I see more and more each day what this has done to me in my life. Yes I guess I had a so so life. I was taken care of and I was loved very much by the mom that did take me in. I have allways longed to find my birth mom and in the late 90's I did find her and I guess it made me fell even more thrown away because she said she never did think about us. Now how can you never think of the twing girls that you left at a DR office how could you never think about the 9 months that you did have us in your life. How how how does such a person live with there self. I my self think of my 4 kid's every day of my life. I think about them call them and talk with them have them at my house cook for them play with them and just spend time with them every chance I have in my life. I my self will never let a child of mine think it was not loved and cared about.

Thrown away is what I was throw away my life will never happen. I do have my proublems and I try hard every day to forget my O so not caring birth mom. I would still love to find my birth dad. But I am sure he was told like my half BRO that we died at birth. My search for him is on going and wish I could find him so he knows that we were thrown away and not dead like I am sure he was told. We were told by our BRO the our dad offerd our birth mom what ever we would need after we were born. But she had to throw us away so he never had that chance to see us or give us the love that he could of gave us.
As for adoptions i think all of them should be open and at the age if 16 the child should have the chance to meet the mom and dad that would of been apart of that childs life. I allway had the info that I was adopted. My mom never told me I could never look for my birth mom. I think all kids should have that chance in life.

No matter if we start out life being thrown away we all still need love. No matter if you are a person a fish a dog a cat a ferret a rat no matter what we all need some one to love us and care about us.
At 35 I finaly have a very good man in my life who gives me the love that I should of had in my life all along.
Never give up on your kid's never give up on life. Live like every day is the last day you will have on this o so fucked up world we live in. A world where at a blink of an eye a child can be thrown away or not even make it to be thrown away. Live life as a good person. Do as you like not as the world thinks you should. We need more people to care about what happens to the thrown away kids. lets give them the love it takes so none of them fell like i do.